I came to an awareness a few weeks ago. It was a TRULY humbling experience. It was the first time along my healing path that I realized just what my life is, now that I’ve begun the journey.
I think in many ways I was very naive about my path on the healing journey. I have picked up many wonderful things, it has been difficult, but I have learned that these new things have added balance to my life. I am learning to acquire a practice.
So, why was I so naive in my thinking? Incredibly I thought that some day I would be finished! Ya, one day I would wake up and just be HEALED. End of story, “Now I can just stop doing all the things I’m doing and relax.” HA! Noticing this thought, changed the direction of my life in many ways. All at once I realized that I’m on this journey for the REST OF MY LIFE…at the end of my days, the things that I pick up are the ways I will find solace in the last moments. The memories of the good life that I have lived will carry me forward into the next. Though in getting there, I see a long difficult journey ahead…and that song – Neil Monague’s song brought comfort.
That song is comforting in the way that it talks about Creator watching us walk along our journey and understanding the difficulties we face here, holding us in compassion…its not an easy thing to navigate – this physical plane. All of the crazy emotions, sometimes destructive thoughts and habits. Though, we are not alone in our pain. We are not alone in our suffering. There is love. There is healing. We only need to choose it…and learn to receive.
I reflected on my new habits, writing, martial arts, meditation, etc…I realized that I need to be concretely sure that the new things I pick up are 100% reflective of the things that I thoroughly enjoy, that illuminate my best qualities, or bring the best out in me…cause I’m going to be doing them for a LONG time.
It doesn’t have to be all at once. I don’t have to change overnight. Sometimes I will stumble. Sometimes I will fall. Each action I choose. All it takes is mindfulness. I kind of like to think of my actions as loving energy directed toward myself. I dedicate that energy into my practice. What am I practicing…the Art of LIVING.