Odd days and dog days

Inspiration sinks to an all time low. Not sure what’s going on but it seems the thoughts and reflections have slowed to a mere trickle…almost non-existent.
Closing my heart or erecting barriers…when all Ive tried to do is create a sanctuary. Learning how to say no, and create a safe space…places where I can be me and still be kind.
Boundaries are called into action.
I’m finding more and more Im being called to set limits and make decisions that I uphold.
To have clarity where once I was wishy-washy about a decision. I think it was fear of the outcome…that’s why I couldn’t make a decision. I was too afraid of what-ifs.
Well, sometimes creation finds a way to help you stand…an be that person you know is inside. I’ve been fighting my own thoughts for control and discipline. The fight will continue until I learn how to create a balance and learn to have faith in myself…and my own abilities.
To accept me for me…even all of the unattractive bits I feel inside. She is the one I live and die for. She has to know how loved she is. So how do I create that…how do I know…what it is to be fully accepted…when I can’t even be me for me…let alone reveal me to anyone else.
The struggle continues.
Just more random thoughts to clutter up the days…
Sometimes just making my weekly post takes all of the strength I have to keep writing something/ anything no matter what. To just write and not care what happens or if anyone reads it. The discipline to just write. For me.
Maybe that has something to do with it all…


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