It is only when I come home that I can observe natural family dynamics and some of the not so natural dynamics.
True that all families have their issues. It takes a lot of work to be a family. You kind of have to communicate, want to befriend a sibling even be interested in what their life is like. Like all relationships it takes work. I wonder sometimes if its worth getting into arguments, or fights with siblings. I like visiting though sometimes negativity can be overwhelming. I have had to face my own fears and exposed vulnerability where my siblings are concerned and so get burned sometimes.
Othertimes, being open to sharing and supporting my family as I would any friend is also important. We never really were very close and I yearn for the family gathering, event and the closeness I see in other families may one day evolve in my own.
For now, I venture some personal information and ideas to share. I offer my help and assistance and I do my sister dishes. I think about the challenges I have in my own life and think about the things I wish i had help with and I offer those to my relative. A caring.
I listen.
I cook.
It has been a very nice visit so far. I encourage and continue to stay open to this experience with family.


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