Invisible


My dad visits. In my dreams I have glimpsed him young, and old. Strong and weak. Though he never talks to me. I stood alone in my room today wondering why I feel so sad. Is it mine? It doesn’t feel like it but maybe it could be. Maybe it could be because I’ve been feeling invisible.
Growing dimmer and dimmer everyday. Even though I speakout and use my voice and sing, it feels as though I will grow dimmer and dimmer until I’m nothing at all. Just camoflage. Until I am someone’s invisible friend. I used to talk to myself as a kid. People said I had an imaginary friend but I know the truth. Sometimes you just get used to being alone. Sometimes you don’t even care that you are.
An imaginary friend.
I wonder if the world would end if I was just an imaginary friend. A voice, a whisper on the wind.
That thread shows up sometimes at the darndest times. A room full of strangers wearing masks of people you knew.
A slight whisper that says they don’t even see you. Just go away. So I do and no one even notices.
Nothing makes me feel more simplified that being invisible.
Surrounded by my invisible friends. Sometimes i don’t care but other times…I just wish I knew how to talk.
Maybe these are the times that my biggest fans, the ones that are listening…maybe these are the times when I do need to talk. When I do need to share because its creations way of reminding me that they are there listening.
Maybe I am dim because its time to find the light that lights despair. Sometimes I don’t know whats missing until I find out that whats missing is me.
Me in my invisibility.

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3 thoughts on “Invisible

  1. Amy says:

    I think I also had another invisible friend named Abner. I don’t remember him but can imagine the need for companionship. Sometimes I wish he would come back…and bring his friends lol I do enjoy this writing thing though. It is comforting knowing I can create an infinite number of worlds, peopled with an infinite cast of characters when I’m lonesome 🙂

    Like

  2. justme says:

    I remember growing up with you and your invisible friend Michael. Than you got a doll and named him Michael. I think I actually helped name your imaginary friend. We would spend so much time together when you were a baby everyone called me your little mommy.
    As for being invisible it may seem like it at times but there are those of us who see you. There are also those who will only see you and wonder where you are just when you sit down in the bathroom or laydown in the bedroom. Haha
    Love you my little one. Always

    Like

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